Linking etsy with our adoption

Sometime before the holiday season I decided to link my etsy account directly to our adoption account. Now all the proceeds from my sewing sales will go to support funding our adoption.

To date, my sales on etsy have earned $225.00 towards our adoption. We are hoping that etsy sales will significantly contribute to our fundraising efforts.

You can visit my etsy shop by clicking on the banner above or clicking this link: Modest Mama Creations.

Check back often as I am continously adding new items.

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month. Our adoption is far from being complete, but we still enjoy hearing adoption success stories. Since this is also the month of Thanksgiving, we would like to mention a couple adoption-related things that we are grateful for:

Continued prayers and encouragement from friends, family, and even some strangers!

A new Ethiopia program director to work with! We didn't seem to hit it off with our last director, but our new director seems the perfect match for our family. Jennifer is an adopted mom herself and knows first-hand the emotional and financial strain that adoptive families feel. She understands how confusing the process can be and doesn't mind my questions and need for endless "hand-holding" as we navigate this amazing journey together.

My four beautiful biological children who never forget to pray for their baby sister.

"It is with sincere regret...

...that we are unable to offer financial assistance for this adoption."

Our first grant rejection. It is hard not to take it personally. Or to be bitter. Especially since so many grants are have limiting qualifications such as specifying "Christian" families. Although we are a Christian family, we are also a Catholic family. But to many of these organizations you can't be their type of Christian if you are Catholic.

Does any of this really matter when you are talking about an orphaned child? We are willing to open our hearts and our home to an orphan. We are willing to become financially and emotionally responsible for this child for the rest of our lives. I would like to ask these orphaned children if these labels matter to them.

So, as I said, our first rejection. And it is hard not to take it personally or to be bitter. It is only the first, and I am sure there will be other rejections. Our faith in God will provide us with our adopted daughter. And it may not be next year or the year after. It won't be on our terms at all. It will be on His terms. And how can one take that personally?

Paperwork Nightmare

Everyone is always wondering how our adoption is coming. My answer is usually the same: slow. Not only are we constantly discouraged by the financial aspect of funding the process, but the paperwork involved is beginning to resemble a monster that is consumming our house. On top of fundraising and paperwork, we also have four children to raise and homeschool, as well as regular life to live.

I have begun to dread opening emails from the adoption agency. They usually read something like this: "Dear Jessica, Please find attached a new form required by the Ethiopian government. Please fill out the form, notarize it, have it state certified, supply new fingerprints, and return it to me with a money order for $670." Yikes. Not only is that a fee we weren't anticipating, but that sort of process can easily take us six months. And fingerprints cost $80 a person.

Through all this we know that God has a plan for our family. He is guiding this adoption and it will work out on His time, not ours.

The Wait and See Method

Now that we have a written homestudy report (only 3 months late and very poorly written), we have decided to see if we can finance the Ethiopian adoption through adoption grants. And donations are still arriving from our envelope campaign. We returned home from the Pacific Northwest to find an annoymous donation of $100 awaiting us!

So for now we are going to continue to pursue the international adoption, despite the overwhelming cost and emotional labor it requires. Sometimes I feel I am on a teeter-totter with this adoption.

A Special Thank yoU!

I wanted to give a special thank you to my friend Sue who donated some unused homeschool curriculum to us. She allowed us to sell the curriculum and keep the money for the adoption. Those ebay sales earned us over $300! Thank you for your generosity Sue!

Graph #2 of Contributions Received.

Here is an updated graph of where we stand with the financial aspect of the adoption. The green amount represents the over $3000 we have received in donations. The blue section is a rough estimate of how much left we need to come up with to finish the adoption. This amount is just an estimate. The new Ethiopian laws as well as unexpected expenses can increase that amount. The line that says "Other" and has a zero value is the amount we have gotten from grants. We are not yet eligible to apply for grants because we are waiting for the homestudy report to be completed. We have done everything on our end, and now must wait for the social worker to finish her part.

Despite the changes in Ethiopian law, Michael and I have decided to continue on this path for adoption. We are not sure how it is going to work out, but after reviewing our other options we have decided that at this time this is the most viable option for our family.

Uncertain Future

Mike and I were sad to learn yesterday that they did indeed pass new laws concerning adoptions from Ethiopia. They now require both parents to travel to Ethiopia two times to complete the adoption. In some circumstances (which they have not yet outlined), an escort with power of attorney may be able to take the place of one of the parents.

Even with the escort, one of us would have to go to Africa and we would be paying for two tickets, two times. A quick look at Delta on random dates shows the price to be $1,956 per ticket. Times that by four and you can easily see the new financial burden placed on my family.

We are undecided about what steps to take next. Other programs offer lighter travel requirements, but with four children already in the home it is hard for our family to qualify for those programs.

I just received an message that international adoption is not for sissies. Isn't that the truth! I wouldn't wish this emotional turmoil on my worst enemy.

Moving Slowly

Things are moving pretty slowly around here lately. The donations continue to arrive, and we are so grateful and thankful to all who have contributed to our adoption. We have a second meeting with the social worker scheduled and then hopefully we will have the homestudy completed. In the meantime we are enjoying this little burst of spring and hoping the snow will hold off until winter arrives again.

Ugggg!

One thing is for certain about international adoption: NOTHING IS FOR CERTAIN!

We were surprised to learn that adoption laws for Ethiopia are changing and we may not make the cut-off before the new laws are passed, if they are passed. Meaning that both Michael and I might have to appear in court in Ethiopia, and that we might have to do that twice. As you can imagine, this would cause a HUGE strain on our family- both financially and emotionally.

So please keep us in your thoughts and prayers while we hope that our daughter is brought safely home to us.

Part of the Club

It seems to me that life is made up of several "members only" types of groups. One is only granted membership to these groups after a significant life-changing event has occured. Going from boyfriend and girlfriend to husband and wife is an example of one of these changes. A more noticable group membership happened after James was born. Suddenly Michael and I found ourselves as new members in one of the most significant members-only groups that life has to offer. We were parents. We were in the know. Daily tasks and events took on new meaning. Our social circle changed, as our closest friends became other parents. We felt like we had arrived.

I imagine other groups may include events such as obtaining certains degrees and/or employement, becoming grandparents, and losing a parent or a spouse. Every significant life change brings you into a new world of people who share similiar experiences.

It has been no surprise to me that adoption is one of these groups. Ever since we have officially announced our adoption and have made significant progress towards completing it, we have found ourselves flooded with warmth and love from people who have gone down this road before us. People have called and emailed out of the blue saying, "I am a friend of so-and-so and they told me about your adoption. We just completed an adoption and if you have any questions I would love to talk to you." It has been amazing to me how many people that I see on a regular basis who have come up and said, "You know, my son (or daughter) is adopted." People are always ready to offer their support and tell us about their experience.

These kinds of groups give life more meaning because you are sharing the membership with people who can relate to the experience. A common bond is formed within the group, even if the people are strangers. It kind of makes me wonder what other groups I will join throughout my life.

Homestudy

Our Homestudy is officially scheduled and as I sit here fending off a mini-panic attack I imagine the various impressions the social worker will have while touring our home. Piles of shoes missing mates clutter our entry room, house plants in several stages of death crowd every windowsill, the guest room looks like a children's consignment store threw up into it.

I have known this was coming for several months, but it was always in the future. My most common expression lately has been, "Before the social worker comes we should..." Well, I guess the future is now and I have some serious junk hiding to do!

Girl Names

Similar to when I am pregnant, we spend much of our time around here throwing out random names for the newest member of the Krom clan. Different this time is the fact that we know the baby's sex, and so we focus on only girl names. It is fun, but it has that "we are not getting anywhere" feeling to it. I would like to be able to call my daughter something besides "her" and "the new baby."

This baby will have three names like her siblings. She will have a first name that she will go by, the name of her patron Saint for her second name, and the third name will be that of a member of the extended family.

Here's what we have come up with so far for first names. Please leave comments with more name suggestions.

Jessica likes: Elizabeth and Alice

Michael likes: Helen

James: Rebecca

Isaac: Sarah

Henry: Flowers

Graph #1 of Contributions Received.

We feel so blessed to know so many kind and generous people. In just two weeks we have received over 13% of the money we hope to raise to help fund our adoption. As you can see from the chart below, we are raising money through donations and grants. We are not yet able to qualify for grants, and hope to be able to apply to some by mid-March. That's why grants are not yet represented on the chart.

Thank you to everyone who has helped us!

The Fundraiser

Here is the information regarding our fundraiser:

We are hoping to only have to conduct one fundraiser for our adoption. Your support and contributions can make this happen for us. We have decided to hold a "Numbered Envelope Campaign."

It's easy to contribute:

1. We have 150 envelopes numbered 1 to 150.

2. Choose an envelope based on the dollar amount you are able to contribute. For example, choose envelope number 50 if you are able to contribute $50. Your donation amount will tell me what envelope you have chosen and I will remove that number from the box.

3. Mail that amount to the address in the sidebar OR use the Paypal button in the sidebar to make a secure online contribution.

4. I will update the blog with envelopes that have been taken as donations are given.

Thank you in advance for helping us get our daughter home!

26 Donations Received

It has been one week since we started our adoption fundaiser. We have received 26 donations at this point! We feel so fortunate to have already received so many contributions. Thank you to everyone who has given to us and also to those who have shared our journey with others.

The hardest part for me is the waiting. I am the type of person who likes to see instant results. With an adoption, there is a lot of time that you are waiting for others to do things. Right now we are waiting for four different establishments to return official paperwork to us so that we can proceed further on the adoption. Everyday I race to the front door as soon as I hear Chris the mailman fill our little copper mailbox. Today I thought I heard him and was disappointed by an empty box. No mail on Presidents' Day.

In my impatience I even emailed the agency to see if we couldn't just get started on the next step while we were waiting for the paperwork to arrive. I am sure it'll arrive soon, so what harm is there in getting a jump-start on the next step? No can do. Things must be done in a certain order. Official paperwork must be completed and notarized before we can move forward.

So we wait. Like a pregnancy there are many unknowns that only time can answer. And like a pregnancy we can not speed things along by sheer will power. A friend told me that God will delay and speed things up at just the right moments to make sure that we get the daughter that He has already chosen for us. And with a feeling that resembles end-of-pregnancy-impatience, I reluctantly accept this.

Received

Thank you, whoever you are. Thank you very, very much.

Encouragement

We received this wonderful email from one of the contributors to our adoption fundraiser, and I wanted to share with you her words of encouragement for us:

Good luck to you all. We adopted our son, from Moscow 16 years ago – we also went thru the home visits and criminal checks and everything. It’s a little overwhelming but so very rewarding... With our process, once we passed all the tests, we chose our son from videos and medical records. One month later we flew to Russia for one week with another couple who we are still friends with to get our son and their daughter. Truly an experience of a lifetime. He has blessed our life tremendously. My miracle daughter was born from me 4 years later. I always said that my son came from my heart and my daughter from my belly. I could not be happier for you and your family. Enjoy every moment. God Bless You!

TEN DONATIONS RECEIVED!

We only need 140 more donations! We received TEN donations in TWO days! Thank you to everyone who has helped us!

Our first donation!!!!

We have received our first donation of $10 from M.N.! So #10 envelope is taken.

Thank you so much for supporting us! We only need more 149 donations to make this adoption happen.

The Fundraiser

We are hoping to only have to conduct one fundraiser for our adoption. Your support and contributions can make this happen for us. We have decided to hold a "Numbered Envelope Campaign."

It's easy to contribute:

1. We have 150 envelopes numbered 1 to 150.

2. Choose an envelope based on the dollar amount you are able to contribute. For example, choose envelope number 50 if you are able to contribute $50. Your donation amount will tell me what envelope you have chosen and I will remove that number from the box.

3. Mail that amount to the address in the sidebar OR use the Paypal button in the sidebar to make a secure online contribution.

4. I will update the blog with envelopes that have been taken as donations are given.

Thank you in advance for helping us get our daughter home!

From IFS Regarding the Ethiopia Program

This was sent to me on January 18 from IFS:
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From our Executive Director:

"We have some MORE exciting news to report. Eight beautiful children are awaiting court dates to come home to their forever families. Look at how young these kids are!!! Court for one brother/sister is set for this month and we should hear of more court dates any day now!

Coming home to their new families soon:
3 year old boy and 6 month old sister
3 year old boy
1 year old girl
3 month old boy
2 month old girl
3 year old boy and 1 1/2 year old sister

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? This program is amazing!!!! BUT WE NEED FAMILIES, even for infants!!!!! We have received word that many on our waiting list will have referrals any day, which is very exciting for all of us! But wow, it almost clears out our list completely! HELP! How do we let people know that these kids are so beautiful and so in need of loving homes? Please spread the word.

We continue to have a huge list of WAITING CHILDREN and we are still looking for a family for the 4 year old boy triplets!!!

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This helps confirm for us that Ethiopia is the birthplace of our second daughter.

Map of Ethiopia